God and Baby

Okay . . . so I’m suppose to be getting ready for a conference call that’s happening in about 20 minutes and just above my notes and calculations is the latest photo of our little one. I really need to get it together for this meeting, but I can’t keep myself from gazing at this wonder in front of me. I’m so curious about so many things. What are they going to be like? Are they already adapting personality traits from us? Are they going to be keen spirited, peaceful and eccentric like Jeff? Are they going to pick up my stubborn nature and have the idea that everything always has to be perfect? (God – I pray you leave that out of them . . . for their sake, not just mine.) What do they really look like? The body appears to be growing normally . . . how’s the brain functioning? Are they going to be okay? I have a lot of questions for them and many will be answered once I see them for the first time.

It reminds me a lot of all the questions and wonders we have about God. I’m excited to meet this new little one, but nervous about the unknowns. Similar to making the transition to heaven, I’m nervous about how my life is going to change even though I’m told it’s the best thing that will ever happen to me. I’m comfortable here and how our lives are. Just as we look forward to going to heaven and we say we’re ready, the process it takes to get there is so scary to us, even though we know its better and we know everything is going to be okay. It’s the simple fact of change and the unknowns that makes us a little leery and gives us that wonder, curiosity and hope.

Signed,
The anxious, excited, nervous, happy, curious, scared, hopeful, prayerful and unprepared soon-to-be mom.

The Announcement

so everyone knows the statement 'when pigs fly'. well, as i was thinking of how in the world we were going to tell people about the news, this is all that kept popping into my head. how appropriate right? so...i decided to run with it. i found the little photo online and fell in love immediately. it just clicked. then we went to michaels and bought the cardstock, photo corners and glue and came home to put them all together.

now the idea only came to me 2 days before telling family (very typical of the creative mind). so we had our work cut out for us for the next couple of nights. i pulled out the old typewriter of which we have always adored since bringing it home from the antique shop in cincinnati. we thought it would be the perfect tool to tell the message we couldn't seem to bring our own mouths to announce.

although we did a pretty good job of getting most of them done, we didn't get these out to everyone. at this point, since most everyone knows, i figured i'd post it on the blog so everyone could enjoy it. it's a simple little handmade announcement that has grown to be very special to us. i guess you could say that this is our first creative thing that the baby has inspired us to do.

if you're feeling a little left out and well...you just must have one of these little guys. let us know and we'll see what we can do for you. they were really fun to create and i have to admit, it really isn't the same on the computer screen as it is in your hand. we have the stuff to do it, we have the inspiration to do it, it's just making the time that's been a little more interesting as of late.

-m

The little one...at a full 14 weeks.

today is the day we've been looking foward to. The visit where we could see more than just a peanut or a chicken. it was a short but sweet little visit. the doctor basically just wanted to know how i was feeling, if i had any questions, then wanted to do a quick ultrasound to check the vitality of the little one growing inside me. so here it is. it's a little blurred and a little difficult to make out real well without some explanation. we added text to help guide you along, so hopefully that helps. you can obviously see it's starting to take shape and looking more like a real human.

the weirdest part about today's visit was seeing it punch and kick but me not being able to feel anything. they say it's too small right now, although it's about the size of lemon or clinched fist. the doctor said that it's typical in the first pregnancy to possibly not feel anything until week 20+. so...that's about mid-june. we'll see how that goes.

so anyways...if this whole thing ever felt real to me it's now. it was really exciting to see this little thing move around and to be so formed with all it's peices/parts in place and yet be so tiny. the heart was just a flutterin' and the doctor said everything looked great. she kept repeating, 'isn't it amazing?' as she pointed out what everything was to us. it truly is amazing and God showed us that very clearly today. he is surely the most incredible creator of any creative...we can only touch the surface.

go to church. have a baby. stay warm.

it's interesting to me how god can use two separate things to get my attention and draw me closer to him. for those of you who are believers, you know that feeling when you know you've drifted away from god ever so slightly? not too far really, but his radiance and warmth aren't quite as intense as they have been. like when the day starts to turn to dusk and you need a jacket to keep the chill off. when i get chilly i know i've drifted away from god ever so slightly. we all get that way, we all drift away. and we all need to get warm again.

i've felt like a drifter recently. we have missed the past two weeks at church, one week was just pure laziness, the next we were out of town. yesterday we went back and i felt good and warm again. being with our church family, feels right. i can feel pretty crappy sunday before service and pretty fine after and the old explanation is god. i've taken a step closer and can feel him more. church helps knock the chill off.

today we had another appointment with the doctor to check on the baby. (he/she is doing fine by the way. michelle will post on that in a little bit.) i know these appointments are really for momma and baby but they serve me pretty well too. i always seem to have taken a step or two away from god when we go to the doctor. heck, who am i kidding, i take a step a day it seems like. these appointments, however, do me good. i see god forming a little person in michelle's belly. and it's not just any person, it's OUR person, our son or daughter. god's given us this little person to take care of, to raise, to teach, to maybe help make this big ole ball we call earth a better place (or at least our small part of it). with that in mind, it's really hard to drift away from god. i want to stay close to him, i need to stay close to him.

so after a sunday back in church and an ultrasound where we got to see a happy baby kicking around, i'm feeling pretty warm again.

til next time, stay warm.

To Know or Not to Know . . .

okay . . . so back when I was about 8 weeks, jeff and i looked at each other and posed the question 'do you want to know what it is?'. well, i immediately without question said, 'well, yeah!' like why would i not? i said, 'what about you?'. he says, 'no way. i don't want to know.' we still disagree and we're both being pretty head strong about it. so i figured i'd post this dilemma and take a poll of what you guys think and why. I've been online and read the pros and cons and really it comes down to personal preference. i just thought it would be both fun and interesting to see what all the family and friends think of the idea, 'to know or not to know'.

m